You

i really am losing it. it will all work out. we just need to believe. follow our hearts and not our minds. i want to stop seeing you everywhere i go. do you know how freaky that is? to see your spirit, your ghost, follwoing me around, and you're not even dead! this connection is now too strong. it needs to stop. the card wasnt enough, nothing is. what do i need to do to finally convince you that i love you? why cant you understand how i feel and stop haunting me? why must you drive by this house and pretend it no longer exists? why do you make me feel hollow and alone and isolate myself form the world? just because your life is a mess doenst mean you should take it out on me! if you need help getting somewhere just ask me before it is too late. i remember how you smiled when i handed you the envelope. you should have read it. maybe you would have understood. but ,no, you didnt, and now look what happened. it apparently didnt mean much to you, because you still havent responded. how much longer do i have to wait? i shouldnt have had to at all. ive been waiting too long and i cant stand it much longer. im slowly destroying myself and others and its all your fault! if you had been a man and been there for me, none of this would have happened! i cry at least once a week, somtimes almost every day, because i miss you and think of bad tings. when you tell me to think of the good, whats the point? it only makes me cry harder, remembering what is the past and only the past. i see you maybe a couple times a month now. and the excuse is? nothing, nothing at all. i know you're busy and i understand that, but you live right next door and i watch out my window for when your car comes down the road. i know whne you're home. and you just sit there and do nothing. you could have come over any time, but you didnt. i know you're on break and you need to go back. who cares if you're grouded now? whos fault is that? you're the only who does the shit. you could have got csaught. i dont know where you hid it or where it went. im glad you're safe, but you need to grow a brain. its you're future at stake, not mine. you need to learn what is right and what is wrong. you need to stop hiding in the shadows of whatever is blocking you from reality. you need to find out who loves you and let them take care of you. dont knock them down and keep running. stop and take them with you. thats where i want to be. whereever you are, is where i want to be. in your arms, forever and always.